Just Give Me the Key Already…

So we did another after 5pm drive-by of the house and from what we could tell, EVERYTHING is complete!!! Yay!

But of course that’s not saying much when all you can see is from the outside of the sliding glass doors. I know the neighbors think that we are crazy. We have never really introduced ourselves. There hasn’t been an opportunity really. We see the kids and their parents from two houses down all of the time (that is, when we are not running from window to window to see if our flooring or whatever is in place). We see the kids from one house down (notice I didn’t say the kids AND their parents). We have seen our next door neighbors from a distance. I KNOW they think we are crazy. We run around that house looking for new things that have been installed. Our first meeting will go something like, “Hi! We are your new neighbors. No, we are not crazy. We’re just REALLY excited people.”

So the countdown begins:

3 more “sleeps” and wake-ups in the little white house,

9 more days until we can officially stop running around the outside of the blue house because we will finally have a key.

 

 

Um…I’ll Take Mine with Carpet, Please.

That’s right, faithful readers (all 3 of you), we are getting carpet put into our house at this very moment. Well, not literally at this exact moment since it is night-night time, but yesterday and today there was carpet being put in at 3002!

When we went to check it out today the garage was open and a huge roll of carpet was sitting there. The property manager chick was not there yet. For the record it was 11:57 a.m. and they are open from noon-5. I mean, no need to be early to work. Being there right on time works fine. Oh yeah, except for me who wants to go look at the house, but doesn’t speak enough Spanish so that the carpet guy doesn’t kill me when I sneak up on him!!! No, I would not intentionally sneak up on the man, but he wouldn’t have heard me since he was blaring R&B music throughout my house.

We didn’t go upstairs because well, I already told you about my inability to speak Spanish well-enough to protect myself. BUUUUUUT!!!! We tiptoed to see the foyer and the hard wood floors were in place. We are still waiting on our stove and refrigerator. All of the lights and fixtures are in. The downstairs potty is in place. Door knobs are in. Screens are on windows. We’re ready! Our walk-thru and closing dates have been bumped UP 6 DAYS!!!!!!

Daddy and I went out to the house this past week. We were running around the outside looking through the windows at all of the new things that were in place. We were like little kids. It was great fun. Why not go in? Oh yeah. Cuz property manager chicks get there at noon and leave at 5 on. the. dot!

We’ll try to hit it up again tomorrow. Not sure if we’ll have time though since we need to be out of this house in ONE WEEK! OMG, I am peeing my pants with excitement!!!!!!

 

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

So we got our house rented and we are peeing our pants with joy. And then….SSSCCCCRREEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!

No, not Dustin Diamond from Saved by the Bell. I mean screech like slamming on brakes when you are barreling down the highway. Shane gets a phone call from the dude side of our potential renters. For the record, there’s a dude and a chick. I know the blog title could have been misleading. Anyway. Dude calls and says that he was under duress when he signed the lease because he is bipolar and he felt like the chick talked him into renting. Huh? He keeps going on and on about his bipolar. Shane keeps saying, “You don’t have to tell me this. I don’t need to know all of this.” There’s not a place on the lease that says check this box if you are cracked in the gourd. Shane asks him if he has talked to the chick. He says no. No? No! You haven’t told the chick that you don’t want to rent, but you are calling to tell us?!?!?! What are we getting into here? Shane tells him to get it straight with the chick. Shane calls the chick and she doesn’t seem to be too worried. We seem to think that the chick is fairly reliable.

Days later we get a call from the dude (from chick’s phone) saying that all is well and that he just had cold feet. Dubbya. Tea. Eff?

Dear Dude,

Here are some plain and simple goals for you:

1. Rent my house.

2. Pay on time.

3. Don’t ruin the place.

4. Oh yeah, and take your meds when you are supposed to so that you can accomplish the aforementioned goals.

Thanks so much,

The Little Lady That Wants to Move Into Her New House

Thanks, Craig!

…Craigslist that is!!!

We decided to take our house off the market. It just wasn’t getting done. Mr. Stamey wasn’t getting it done. BTW, we had to start calling him Mr. Stamey to show some sort of respect for our agent because Lil’ Boy was walking around the house saying, “Get it done, Stamey!” Seriously. Anytime we would talk about the new blue house or even say Stamey’s name, Lil Boy would just say, “Get it done, Stamey!” I’ll be honest. I laughed every time. But, dang, I would be embarrassed the next time Lil Boy was around Mr. Stamey.

Okay, back to the point…Eco Joe. Well, I think he thinks that he’s a bear and I just helped him get a head start on his hibernation for the winter. I mean, what are you doing under there Joe? Do I dig you up now that we have people that are going to rent our house? Oh yeah, Mr. Craig, from Craigslist, found some renters. We got ourselves some renters!!! Woo-hoo! They signed a year lease and they move in at the end of October! We are jumping for joy!!!

Let the fun begin!

The Ups and Downs of It All…

Where do I begin? Ups or downs? Having a house on the market and buying one all at the same time is stressful. The process just SCREAMS “emotional roller coaster”. You have an amazing high followed by a devastating low (and vice versa). Here are the latest details of said roller coaster ride since the last time I posted. Enjoy!

#1 Up: Stamey calls to say that his partner is coming over. Oh yeah, and another realtor is coming over an hour or so after him. Two realtors in one day. A weekday at that! Unheard of!!

#1 Down: I bust my a** (or “my hump” as my mom likes to say) cleaning the house–LEAVE WORK EARLY, mind you—and Stamey’s parter NEVER SHOWED UP. Dubbya. Tea. Eff?!

#2 Up: We get a call saying there is someone who wants to see our house this past Monday.

#2 Down: Niiice! We were 9 hours away from home at the time. They wanted to come at 6:30. Nabbie was out roaming the house and our MomMom watched Brady for us while we were away. She did a spectacular job, but the house was not in pristine condition.

#3 Up: Chick’s agent calls to tell us that she wants to look at it again, AND bring her family. It’s in the bag, right? Nope.

#3 Down: Chick is now having “buyer’s remorse”. She comes from a newer town home that she is renting. And! AAANNNNDDDDD she offered us WAY LESS than what we are asking for.

#4 Up: See picture below (and there is no “down” to this one because it’s just too awesome to think bad thoughts about it)

“This is Not a Drill, People!”

…that is a direct quote from Daddy.

I’m not gonna lie, he says it a lot. Actually, he likes to scream it running around the living room after our agent calls to say that someone is coming to see our house.

We received such a call this afternoon while driving back from a business meeting in Richmond. I was helping Daddy send an email (because he was driving). I like to think of it as playing “secretary”, but in the way that a 6 year old pretends to answer the phone and takes notes and not in that way that a 26 year old is taking notes for her boss after hours if you catch my drift.

Well anyway, while I was playing secretary (FOR SAFETY REASONS!!–get your mind outta the gutter) Daddy’s phone started ringing. Like any secretary worth her weight, I immediately panicked. The name that popped up?! Our realtor–Robert Stamey (of the famed quote, “Get it done, Stamey!”)

Stamey’s partner, is bringing someone by to see the ol’ girl. And let me tell you something, that girl better be on her BEST behavior when these people show up!!!

I mean, we love you, girl. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s not you–it’s us. We’re ready for a change. Time to move on. We all need our space.

Joe Dirt

Joe has been buried. Actually he was buried about two weeks ago. Here’s the proof. Little Boy and Mommy worked hard trying to get this beloved Saint in the ground.

Have we sold our house yet? Nope.

Did someone call 10 minutes after Little Boy and I put him in the ground? Yup.

Did I run around getting things in perfect order while I parked Little Boy in front of the television? Yup again.

Did the freakin’ people pull up in their car and not even PARK? Yes. Yes, they did–those little boogers!! They didn’t even pull over to the curb to give it a “look-see”.

Their agent called our agent who called me as we were driving away to say, “It’s on a corner and they didn’t like that.”

You know what? I didn’t like that it was on the corner, but I bought it because it was a good deal. A good deal, people! Wait! What? We are selling this house for a ridiculously low price? It’s a great 1st home for someone?! Things are updated and remodeled?! You mean, it’s a good deal?!  BUY IT ALREADY!!

Whaddya Know, Joe?

So I made a purchase this morning.

The Hardest Working Saint in Real Estate

http://www.amazon.com/Green-Joseph-Statue-environment-during/dp/B002L9Q6OW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1281095653&sr=1-1

Shane told me not to tell him about this if I bought it, but I just HAD to tell him about ECO JOE! I was going to buy just a regular one, but this one “…will not poison the earth. A real Saint would never do that!”

My grandmother is probably spinning in her grave. Sorry, Nannie, but I am not ashamed to admit that I am at the point where I am depending on this biodegradable St. Joseph “green” statue to sell my house.

He is touted as THE HARDEST WORKING SAINT IN REAL ESTATE. How can it NOT work?! Anything is worth trying once, right? Hey, I was sold when they said it was good for the Earth.

“Um, why yes I fell for that gimmick. Hook, line, and sinker. But at least it’s not going to harm the Earth! And, hey,  I might get an offer on the house.”

Get it done Stamey, I mean, St. Joe! Get it done St. Joe!

Feeling a Little Blue…

Well, I wasn’t feeling blue until I saw THIS!

That's right! They are putting up our siding!

Siding on the back of the house!

We have siding–AND IT’S BLUE!!! This was the highlight of my day, people. We have always had a blue house because the insulation (or whatever it is–the wrapping) is blue, but THIS! THIS is the siding that WE picked out for our house! I wanted to sit and stare, but the dudes were staring at me and I didn’t want to impede their progress on my BLUE HOUSE!!!!!

Get it done, Stamey! Now more than ever.

Haiku Friday

Cute house for sale–cheap.  

The corner lot is QUIET!

Just buy it already!